From the last day at work, and even before that as I was planning my summer, I knew that it'd be like this. Like suddenly POFF summer's over and it's time to leave. I knew that if I wanted to meet as many people as possible before I go I'd have to stress from one place to the other, which was what happened. I'm not really complaining, but this past week, only chilling and doing what I want, is kind of what I, in hindsight, wished the whole summer would've been like. However, to be honest, I'm not really good at doing nothing either. I probably would've ended up spending too much money cause I got restless...... So except for the weather (which has been worse than terrible😒!!!), I'm not complaining 😜
But wasn't this like a week ago?? 👇🏻🙈❤️
I've never been good at predicting how something's gonna turn out or how I'll feel about a certain event that'll happen in the future, which, I think, is both a good and a bad quality, but it's been hard to predict how I will feel about leaving for a year. Throughout the whole process of getting here, only a couple days from the departure date, has been one new feeling after another. Since I've wanted to do this for a very long time, and it has been something I knew I would some day do, I got used to fantasizing about how it would be that I never saw it as something life changing. And maybe it isn't, but it's definitely something bigger than the trip I made it out to be in my head. And I'm a not surprised to think differently about it now than I did a year ago. It's more real now.
As I mentioned in the last post, I haven't been nervous at all until yesterday. That nervousness has nothing to do with the traveling or being someplace other than home, but from not knowing what I'm getting myself into. That is what I think will be my biggest lesson with all of this. It's not that I'm not good at dealing with problems or stressful situations, cause when I'm in the moment I do what needs to be done, but I can still get a little wired beforehand worrying about doing a poor job.
I'd like to think of myself as a down to earth person but with a restless soul. So if I can get a little better at not stressing about things that matter and just get on with it trusting it'll be alright, all will be peaches and pies. If that makes sense. People who know me probably knows what I'm trying to say. 😊
"Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday."
At the moment I'm switching between being overly excited and stressing about forgetting to pack something (I HATE packing!). Wish me luck 👜😜